In a culture where assertiveness is often mischaracterized for racialized women, Zahra Khozema, a Toronto-based journalist, explores a complex and provocative idea: learning from the so-called “Karen.” For Khozema, who was raised in a South Asian household where obedience often took precedence over confrontation, the stereotypical Karen—the often-ridiculed emblem of entitlement—represents an opportunity to reclaim confidence and demand fairness in daily interactions.
Khozema’s journey highlights the unique challenges racialized women face when advocating for themselves. Research underscores these difficulties; a 2022 Harvard Business School study found that customer service often favors white customers over Black or Asian patrons. In Canada, similar patterns persist, with racial profiling affecting visible minorities in banks, stores, and other public spaces. This context makes even minor confrontations, like correcting a coffee order, feel daunting for many women of color.
In her reflection, Khozema acknowledges the nuances of the Karen archetype, which ranges from extreme entitlement to simple assertiveness. Her goal, however, is not to adopt the toxic traits of the stereotype but to find a balance: the ability to stand up for her rights without being dismissed as aggressive or uncivilized.
Khozema credits her white-passing husband for teaching her strategies to handle confrontation effectively. Through his mentorship, she learned to document issues, stay composed, and escalate situations when necessary. Yet, as she discovered, the act of asserting oneself as a racialized woman can still be met with disproportionate pushback.
One stark example occurred during a visit to Tanzania, where a botched spa treatment left Khozema with facial burns. Her calm complaints were dismissed, and she was labeled as “overreacting,” while a white guest in the same lobby was met with empathy and action. This incident illuminated the double standards women of color face when advocating for themselves, reinforcing the emotional toll of demanding fairness.
Despite setbacks, Khozema has found victories in small acts of assertiveness, such as correcting service errors and addressing workplace injustices. In one instance, she successfully secured a fair severance package with the help of her husband, who brought a direct, no-nonsense approach to her struggle.
In 2025, Khozema has decided to prioritize her well-being, delegating larger conflicts when needed and focusing on battles worth fighting. Her story speaks to the broader experience of racialized women, who navigate the fine line between advocating for themselves and being unfairly labeled.